“I wish I knew how to quit you!” That’s Tom Brady talking to a football. 

Remember when Ben Stiller announced that after spending the pandemic quarantining with his separated-from wife Christine Taylor, they’d fallen back in love and were calling off the divorce? It seems like the opposite happened with Tom and Gisele. Brady just announced that, after careful consideration, he is getting back together with the thing he loves most: being a quarterback.

“I’ve never quit on anything in my life,” Brady told his co-hosts on a recent episode of the Sirius XM show Let’s Go! with Tom Brady, Larry Fitzgerald and Jim Gray, per People. This echoes statements he made at an earlier press conference about Definitely Not Retiring From The Sport That Gives You Brain Injuries And Which Isn’t Usually Played By 40somethings But Whatever.

Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images

“I made a commitment to this team and I love this team and I love this organization,” he said on the show. This in response to a question about potentially not playing the full NFL season due to his recent marital challenges. In fairness, Brady wasn’t even sure he’d get time off to attend the birth of his first child with ex Bridget Moynahan back in 2007, so it seems like maybe the League keeps these guys on a rather short leash.

Tom Brady seems to vaguely remember that he did, actually, announce a retirement “in the past,” but continued, “I want to keep fighting as hard as I can and I’m always trying to do better. I’m always trying to work hard and I’m always trying to commit more to the things that are important to me. And this team is very important to me and I certainly want to be the best I can be for them.”

Which certainly sounds nice, until you remember that his Victoria’s Secret model wife, Gisele Bündchen, doesn’t want to be retired either, and would actually like him to maybe come home and take care of their kids for a sec so she can be a supermodel again. And if that doesn’t work, she can hire as many divorce lawyers as she needs, since she’s worth more than he is anyway.


Share This Article