Luckily, Dakari is great. His name, like mine and my boyfriend’s, has an African origin. The “Kar” means happiness. And his second name, Gold, is because I don’t just love the color; I love that it’s a natural element and has a connection to the earth. And he really is brilliant. He has his own little schedule. He feeds around 11 a.m., 1 p.m., 3 p.m., 6 p.m., 9 p.m., and then usually midnight. And he sleeps in between, but I also have to work, look after my daughter, and then pump as well. So when I do get to sleep, it’s like for a second only, and then I’m up again. The increments are so close. And I’ve just had to be like, “Let’s push through.”
Along with the tiredness, I wish more people would talk about the physical aspects of postpartum recovery. I thought I was doing okay at first, but if you want to get real personal, my butt really hurts. I think I’ve got hemorrhoids, and honestly, for the entire 28 days, I found it quite terrifying to go to the bathroom.
I bled for nearly four weeks. After two weeks I was still getting cramps in my stomach, and I sweat in my sleep now. I feel like my body is so different, as far as everyday things go. My doctors told me that everything can take a while to get back to normal, but it’s really tough. And people don’t really tell you about this, about how hard it will be. I don’t know if enough women know about this. You definitely don’t want to be intimate with a partner with all this going on. Then the other day my daughter was like, “Hey, Mommy, let’s race.” I was like, “No, I’ll just cheer you on.”
