A humble Christmas tree in a New South Wales town has gone viral for being lauded as the worst display of festive spirit ever.
The dishevelled tree – which looks like it arrived home after a 24-hour bender, slapped on some makeup and covered itself in tinsel – was erected in the main square of Port Macquarie to cries of dismay and horror.
Port Macquarie’s council initially took it all in their stride, with mayor Peta Pinson declaring “any publicity is good publicity”. But that was before the lights had to be removed when they were deemed a safety risk due to slowly slipping from the tree.
“I have a great sense of humour, just like our wonderful community has,” Pinson said. “All you can do is laugh.”
The council has now reportedly replaced the tree with a more traditional option – a smaller, artificial tree that was decorated by council staff.
Given that, we’ve rounded up the most cursed trees to have graced Australia this silly season.
It’s giving croquembouche
In the cosmopolitan city of Hobart, they don’t decorate actual trees, but rather abstract representations of items that resemble them. This one is serving “croquembouche chic” and I, for one, am sold.
The leaning tower of Lismore
It’s hard to top Lismore’s precarious Christmas tree, which went viral in 2014 with headlines including: “Is this the world’s most pathetic Christmas tree?”
Since then, the haphazard display has become a yearly town tradition, embraced by the council and adored by many. Sometimes, you have to lean in to your mistakes.
To infinity and beyond
Never before has a tree so accurately resembled a jumbled pile of coat hangers. If that was what they were going for – they nailed it. This structure, erected in a Melbourne office, gives a whole new meaning to the very concept of the Christmas tree.
Does it need to be green to be a Christmas tree? Does it need lights? Tinsel? Or can you just whack on a couple of green and red rocket ships and call it a day?
Christmas meets Iron Throne
I don’t know what this material is, I only know that I hate it.
Hobart’s Salamanca Square is home to this beauty, which gives a real Metropolis Chic, Game of Thrones meets Santa Claus energy. The spiky star at the top makes it for me.
Australia’s most festive coat stand
The cost of living crisis bit one Melbourne office hard this year, forcing it to improvise with vaguely tree-shaped items that were already on hand in place of the real thing.
The result is the most unhinged coat stand I’ve ever seen and what looks like a small tipi with a carpet of tinsel. The hanging candy canes are a seriously creative touch that somehow tie the whole thing together.
Bliss!
‘There was a little owl hiding in it’
Australia has its fair share of dud Christmas trees, but some of the worst performances have been abroad.
We should have known 2021 would be another cursed year when this Christmas tree arrived at New York’s Rockefeller Centre – already beaten, defeated and on its last legs.
Later, it was revealed there was a small owl hiding in the tree, provoking yet more outrage and disgust.
These boots were made for decorating
Everything about this display is bad – from the garish, over-the-top tinsel to the tacky stand, and what looks like a tissue emerging from its midriff. But the worst part is the self awareness.
‘So ugly it’s funny’
And, to top it off, the coup de grace, the Christmas tree of all Christmas trees, the tree to haunt your dreams and waking nightmares:
I don’t know where this is. I don’t know its story. I know only that it cannot be topped. The carelessly draped hat. The purple arms, emerging like ominous tentacles. The potato, taped haphazardly to what I can only assume is a face. It’s perfect.
