Conservatives’ ‘Blue Friday sale’.

For the man or woman who has everything but an acrylic Christmas jumper bearing the knitted tree logo of the Conservative party: good news.

It can now be yours – with 10% off on your first purchase! – from the Conservative party’s online shop, along with a 2024 calendar of historical election posters and a bauble on which Margaret Thatcher festively bellows: “No, no, no.”

Conservatives’ ‘Blue Friday sale’. Photograph: Conservatives.com

Ever mindful of the penury 13 years of Tory government have imposed on consumers, the online shop responded to Black Friday with its own “Blue Friday” sale offering shoppers looking for stocking fillers up to 70% off. The big savings, though, were confined to a handful of items, including a 2008 mug of Boris Johnson, now yours for just £3.99.

At least Johnson is doing better than Rishi Sunak, the actual prime minister, who can be found only as one of several images on a coaster set and matching framed print. Even Keir Starmer appears on his own flip-flops (get it?), and on a satirical Christmas card reading: “All I want for Christmas is EU”. And given only a third of Britons now think Brexit was the right decision, they may well sell lots of that one.

Johnson at least makes it into a charming collection of ceramic former prime ministerial Toby jugs alongside Thatcher and Winston Churchill – all out of stock – and John Major, Theresa May and David Cameron, of which there are, happily, plenty left at just £28.95.

Once again, however, no Sunak. As for Liz Truss – like the ghost of Christmas past, it seems, she is someone the Conservative party would rather we forgot.

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